Oct
31
2008
3

To Brian

To Brian:  Since your senior class at SAA cannot and will not be as aaawwweeesssooommmeee as mine was (even if it was only because of me), here is an idea I used for senior class auctions.  I think we really nailed the idea of marketing ourselves.  We did bring in something like a hundred bucks (others got $500 or more, though).

If you can improve on it, I will be so proud of you and so happy that I was instrumental to your class’ success.

Get the Flash Player to see this content.

This movie was made two years ago.  Yes, I look like a 10-year-old in it.  Yes, it’s scary to see a 10-year-old with a bass voice.  Get over it.

Written by curtis in: Media,Videos | since 28 Dec 2008 |
Oct
30
2008
2

Vote now, or forever lose your peace!

It’s time to vote, people!  You can vote on this blog until elections are over in the U.S.A.  Then my polls will be closed.  Also, you should vote in the real elections.  I won’t tell you how to vote (if I did, however, I’d tell you to vote Republican), just that you should vote.  Make use of the rights we’ve paid for.  People that don’t vote are being wasteful.

[poll id="3"]

Written by curtis in: My Thoughts,Opinions,Your Thoughts | since 28 Dec 2008 |
Oct
28
2008
--

Weird Email

Weird Email

Weird Email

This is a very weird email.  Did somebody actually expect me to think I had made an appointment with a photographer?  Usually people try to spam you about bank stuff.  This is at least creative.

(And why am I “Crystal Curtis”?  Did they just spam the wrong person?)

Written by curtis in: Just Plain Funny | since 28 Dec 2008 |
Oct
28
2008
1

Epitomy of Convenience

Robby has been looking at Adventist college campuses across the U.S.A.  He noted that the church is located directly adjacent to the hospital at Loma Linda, and that if your loved one was dying, you could simply walk next door to pray in a sanctuary.

I, on the other hand, thought of another reason it was a good idea.  If you were at church and the sermon lasted too long, you could simply walk over to the hospital when you started dying.

This is the epitomy of convenience.  What will they think of next?  Pulpits in hospital rooms?  Gurneys and heart monitors in church?!

Written by curtis in: My Thoughts,Opinions | since 28 Dec 2008 |
Oct
25
2008
3

Scam Artistry at its Finest

From:  sdpibunasiv2387@asfdlkkjsdh.com
To:  me@room2593.com

Hello, I am Mister Harold Pritchard and I live in Nigeria.  I woold like you’re assistance in a matter of finances.  I have $100,000 in inheritance that I would like to transfer to an acount in the U.S.  I am moving to you’re country and need a new bank.  For you’re trouble, I am prepared to ofer you $10,000 after the money is moved.  I woold appreciate it if you could provide me with $150 for the fees because I cant withdraw money from my inheritance until it is in the U.S. country.  Please email me back for the details.

———-

From:  me@room2593.com
To:  sdpibunasiv2387@asfdlkkjsdh.com

Hello, Mr. Pritchard.  I have many emails in my spam box from people like you.  You may live in Nigeria, but your real name is not Harold, your spelling is horrible, and if you have $100,000, it’s because you took advantage of ignorant people.  I will not be exploited by a Nigerian!

———-

From:  sdpibunasiv2387@asfdlkkjsdh.com
To:  me@room2593.com

What if I told you I’m actually Danish?

———-

(inspired by Austin Greenwood)

Written by curtis in: Good Fiction | since 28 Dec 2008 |
Oct
22
2008
2

I Otedvay!

Besides being almost fluent in igpay atinlay (only in writing), I am also a dual citizen.  I live in the United States, though, so I can only vote in the U.S.  Which I have done (on Friday, while on midterm break).  For McCain/Palin.  Boo-yah, world!  An under-40-year-old middle-class citizen north of Texas CAN vote Republican.  So, there.

I looked up the Canadian election that happened last week, and found some good results:  Stephen Harper smashed the Liberals completely!  The Liberal Party only got 26.24% of the vote!  If you put the New Democratic Party and the Bloc Quebecois together, they beat the Liberals.  Awesome!  The Conservatives got 37.63%, which for many other countries may seem like very little, but you should look at this link to find out how amazing this election was:  CBC map.  The party system in Canada is quite different from the bipartisan country of the U.S.A.

If you haven’t voted yet, remember to vote on election day (November 4 in the U.S. this time around).  If you have the right to vote, exercise it!  We have the ability to chose our leaders.  Let us chose wisely.  Our government is BY the PEOPLE.  We are the government, in a sense.  We appoint whom we chose.

Some people don’t vote because they think their votes don’t count.  They’re idiots.  If no ordinary person’s vote counted, the election results would be as follows:  0 votes Republican, 0 votes Democrat, military coup ensues.  We have elections for a purpose.  You are purposeful.  Purposify yourself.  Although, some votes are more critical.  I’m from Missouri.  My vote is even more important.  If you watch the news at all, you’ve heard of “battleground states”.  Missouri is one of them.  I found a website that states it perfectly:

Texas brags that it’s a “whole other country,” but Missouri proudly declares that it is the whole country. Talk to a Missourian about the state’s politics for more than a few minutes, and the words “microcosm” or “representativeness” are likely to surface. During a three-day swing through the state last week, I discovered that an inner demographer resides within nearly every politically minded Missourian: The state is a perfect blend of North, South, East, and West, I was told again and again. Missouri was born in compromise in 1820, and it’s still that way today. It has the same percentage of African-Americans as the nation as a whole, the same percentage of union workers, the same rural/urban mix, and on down the line. And invariably, the one fact that every Missourian knows surfaced: With the exception of the time it foolishly cast its lot with Adlai Stevenson in 1956, in every presidential election since 1900 Missouri has proudly voted for the winner. The implication is that you might as well call off the balloting in the other 49 states as a cost-saving measure.

Source:  Slate Magazine

So, yeah, I’m special.  I may just be the deciding vote in a national election.

Written by curtis in: Announcements,My Life,My Thoughts,Opinions | since 28 Dec 2008 |
Oct
18
2008
3

Whose Sheep?

In keeping with Robby’s “intelligent sheep” theme…

Sheep

Download the SVG file for higher quality: Sheep

I did this freehand on a laptop.  I may redo it later on a friend’s USB drawing board.  Yes, I’m a terrible artist, but not really that bad.  I drew the piano on my “Ink & Ivory” album art freehand, too.

Written by curtis in: Comics,Media | since 28 Dec 2008 |
Oct
15
2008
1

Goin' Home

It’s mid-term break starting this afternoon, and I’m in need of it.  I think it’ll be worth the ten-hour drive home.  Besides, there will be three or four drivers in the car.  And I have a MacBook.  The laptop makes any trip’s time cut in half.  I just wish I had cellular internet for it now, so I could talk to all you wonderful readers from the boring road (“all” being all four of you).

Written by curtis in: My Life | since 28 Dec 2008 |
Oct
14
2008
1

TheyU

Though Southern is an awesome school, I think there is a more awesome university:  They University.  If it were not fictional, I would go in an instant.  There are many good reasons:

  • “They” know everything
  • “They” did research on earthworm mating habits and supernova fission and exploding toothpaste and…
  • “They” have an awesome program in everything
  • “They” say…
  • “They” are highly regarded by the nonacademic world as the best academic source in the world

Maybe not that last one (Wikipedia took that one).  But I will start They University somewhere on the east coast and make bajillions.  It will be the greatest school in the world.

Written by curtis in: Good Fiction | since 28 Dec 2008 |
Oct
13
2008
5

Happy Thanksgiving! (the real one)

For all of you de-Canadianized people out there, it IS Thanksgiving Day today.  And that’s de-Canadianized with a ZED.  see-ay-en-ay-dee-ahy-ay-en-ahy-ZED-ee-dee

I went to my cousins’ house and had a delicious dinner.  There were about 30 people there.  I think.  Most of them were Canadian.  It was crowded, anyway.  I brought the salad (tasty, if I do say so myself).

For those who think it’s Columbus Day, you’ve been misinformed.  No, malinformed.  It’s Thanksgiving Day.  And a happy one to you, at that!

Written by curtis in: Announcements,My Life | since 28 Dec 2008 |

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